i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
is that a dick in a sweater?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
