I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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