you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
