can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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