the new term for farting is butt boxing.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize