my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
