You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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