I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
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Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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