Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
