Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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