She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
