Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
