his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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