I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
