Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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