my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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