I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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