Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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