Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Randomize
