Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
