Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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