i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
