i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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