their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
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I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
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Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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