i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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