Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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