You smell like stripper and shame
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
