I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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