after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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