I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
