So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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