This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
