1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
