ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
