I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
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