we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
