I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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