Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
