I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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