But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
