Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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