they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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