Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I've blown a few things in my day
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
