His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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