my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
