exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
