did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
