I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Can Purell be used as lube?
one might say we're banned from that church
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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