haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Randomize
