Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
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