Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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