Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
