i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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