i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
