dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
