I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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