Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Randomize
