Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

we should wear snuggies to the strip club

Fav 17 6754 1296
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(281): View more from Texas

It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.

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(903): View more from Texas

The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.

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(516): View more from New York

I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card

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(720): View more from Colorado

Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.

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(512): View more from Texas

He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.

(713): View more from Texas

Yeah you should have just let that thought go.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.

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(425): View more from Washington

Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.

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