Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
