good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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