If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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