Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Randomize
