FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
