The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
