Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny