Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial