Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
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jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
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We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.