I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
another moral hangover. fuck.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
he high fived his dick after we had sex
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
