i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
