Don't make out with my wife yet
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
